The One Night Stand

I think I have been a bit late in publishing this Hub by publishing it after Valentine’s Day but nothing doing, I got the idea bit late. This might have proved helpful to many, had it been published bit early. Nevertheless, it will still be helpful. A one-night stand can happen anytime and hence this Hub, I am sure will be a good help for everyone around who go for it.

We live in a liberal time when everyone is free to go for the things he or she likes. People are considered matured in an open society. Even in a restricted society, a one-night stand is not hard to come across. Sometimes it happens unexpectedly and sometimes it is pre-planned. People keep experimenting with new ideas of fun and adventure. Just like blind date, this one-night stand is one such idea that has really gone up in experimentation by people of various ages. People like exploring new possibilities and this surely does provide a good thrill and surprise.

Most of the times it does deliver the thrill and fun as expected but things aren’t cool all the time especially if one is not prepared for it and indulges in it just to look cool or for whatever reason it be. Hence, there are issues one must know about before going for it. Things that may hold good for one may not hold same for other.

The concept of one-night stand was actually related to theatre. It was referred to as a single night theatre performance. However in the present time the term is more commonly used to describe a single sexual encounter between individuals. None of the individuals participating in the act has any intension to continue with any kind of relationship. It can be planned or unplanned but in most cases participants do not know each other. This should not be taken as prostitution, as in this case no monetary transaction is involved, it is completely on agreement between two individuals for the sake of pleasure.

There don’t seem to be a too deep seated reason such that to find it you have to do some good research or refer to any white paper or something. But then there definitely must be some reason for it becoming so popular now. I don’t think it was so much in fashion some 20 or 30 years back. If you ask people why? then some may say it is for fun, some will say it is for a change, to bring about excitement in life, so on and so forth. But the question still stands, Why? Why do so many people nowadays go for one-night stand for fun and thrill. It’s not that people about 20 or 30 years back didn’t have fun or enjoyed thrill but this was not such a popular option. Even in those days there were people who were different, who used to try new and different things but still the number of such people going for it were very less compared to what it is today. Then what is it that today it has become so popular? Some will say it has become a fashion now. But fashion is something that is promoted by media and public personalities and then it becomes popular. But in this case I don’t think any form of media does the promotion or any public figure asks people to follow it. So the question still remains, Why?

So to answer the question I thought, if I go for it then why will I do so, what will prompt me? Then I put myself in my dad’s position and thought the same thing. I really had to change my entire way of thinking in both the cases. I realised that the difference is not in our way of thinking and our personalities, the difference is in the times. Our society has changed, it has evolved into a more liberal place where each individual is given ample space and is allowed to do what he or she wants to. Today we are more free to be what we want to be. The rules of society has become more flexible and one is free to define his or her rule herself instead of abiding by some norms that has been fixed by an individual or a group of individuals. People feel more independent now. Had in those times our society been as free as it is now then maybe the concept of one-night stand would have been as popular as it is now. So I guess human behaviour depends on how the society has evolved with time, so it’s all about time!

So we know that it is very much there and has lot of things to offer. Whether you like it or not, it has some benefits but as we know nothing in this world is absolutely perfect or absolutely imperfect hence, it has a dark side too. Let us explore them one by one.

Following are the benefits that attract us to it. If you know about the benefit beforehand then you will be able to enjoy it even more and make full use of opportunity.

Commitment-Less: This is the biggest advantage of this concept; do not commit for anything nor expect one. It is a fact that people having sex do get emotionally involved and expectation raises for some sort of commitment from the partner unless there is a proper understanding between them. A one-night stand is the concept where emotion holds no value and people going for it knows it very well. So if you are looking for some fun without indulging in any commitment or do not want to take any responsibility then one-night stand could be an option.

Thrill and Surprise: Most of us like to get in-mated with the one whom we know well. A stranger is generally not considered a good option. But it all depends on an individual; different people different views. There are many among us who like some trill, adventure and surprise in everything they want to do. Getting laid with a perfect stranger is a big trill in itself and have lot of scope of getting surprised. A stranger will have loads to offer compared to the one whom you already know because you already know what he or she has to offer.

New partner every time: A change is always desirable. A private moment with ones partner is always special and exciting no matter how many times it is repeated but for many of us even this becomes a monotonous routine and we eagerly look forward to some change. A one-night stand is a great way to where you get the change you are looking for. A new partner everytime will ensure new experience each time and will even help you learn new way for making love.

It is quick: As this does not demand any commitment so people going for it are not so interested knowing each other. Hence not much time is wasted in dating and understanding the partner. Intensions are very clear here and generally not more then a day is spent together or sometime if it happens suddenly to you then it is just a matter of few hours. Generally people do not spend much time with each other but if you do so then better don’t call it on night stand, instead it will be called a relationship.

One time expenditure: Yes it is just a one time expenditure for the erotic experience you get. Since the best part that it requires no commitment hence, you will not be spending for anything but the lone erotic night that you spend together unlike the permanent relationship where you have to take full financial responsibility. You meet, you spend and then, you forget that’s it. Fun, isn’t it?

Find the perfect one: Well this one may not make any sense especially since no commitment is expected but we cannot just override the possibility of finding the perfect one for you. Yes, it sounds silly but it is true. However people who indulge in it do not go with this intension hence, it could be regarded as the side effect or the side benefit. The chances of finding a perfect one is very feeble here but you never know what may strike the right cord and you may decide to go one step forward. However the chances of a stable relationship is very less.

Get to know how you fare: Another side effect or side benefit of one-night stand, another silly reason but again it cannot be totally overlooked. In a committed relationship one may get the honest opinion about one performance in bed as the partner may think that it may offend you if you are a non-performer but surely, the stranger will not bother how you may feel and will say that on your face. You will get a good critical review of your performance, which in turn can help you improve yourself. Having said this, I would like to mention again that people do not go for one night stand thinking about this benefit at all.

A one-night stand can be a great fun and thrill but not always. It has some very serious disadvantages and one MUST consider the following points before getting carried away by the adrenalin. Everything has a bright side and a dark side, it is very important to be informed of the dark side even if the bright is not known. One must know it so that one is prepared for the consequence if something goes wrong.

Not my kind: The main thing that attracts people is that it can give some real good surprise but at the same time, it can give equally bad shock. Imagine you go with great expectation and your one-night partner turns out to be a big moron. Lets say suppose he/she is not up to the mark and leave you completely dissatisfied or the person comes in completely drunk and spoils your mood or if he/she is too rude and is just concerned about his/her enjoyment. There could be numerous possibilities.

Cheating: No matter how much you may try to convince yourself but in the end, you are cheating your partner if your are already into a relationship until and unless both of you have proper understanding and know what the other is doing but such cases rarely exist. Someone may argue that he/she got carried away in emotion and it was just a mistake but in that case it will still be considered that you cheated your partner. Don’t you think you would have called your partner a cheat if he/she had done the same thing?

The responsibility lies on you: Yes the responsibility lies completely on you and you only. Since there is no commitment or responsibility involved so if anything goes wrong then situation has to be handled by the individual alone. Women should particularly be careful and make sure that protection is on. Don’t rely on your partner, make sure you have arranged for the protection on your own because if things goes wrong and you get pregnant then your male partner will not come to help you out of the mess.

Infection: Be very careful and make doubly sure that protection is on as you don’t know who the other person is? This is the most dangerous risk in this business. The one who is infected will never reveal it. He or she will come, enjoy and go away leaving you with some deadly virus like STD or even HIV. Hence, be very careful!!!!!

Guilty feeling: People generally do not give importance to this dark side of one-night stand. They will say, “I know what I am doing and I am not feeling guilty now!” But they forget that this guilty feeling come after the night goes by. Although I must say that this does not often happen but it do happen and you will not even know it is coming. In this moment of active excitement a series of brain chemical is released resulting in powerful boding. When separation occurs, it has a chemical and biological impact on brain that affects the future behaviour and happiness. It is said that women are more prone to get affected. Hence is important that we must not only protect ourselves from virus but from put an emotional protection as well.

Unexpected complication: Be prepared to handle the unexpected complications. Imaging that you are in a relationship and your partner finds out about this. One night of pleasure can ruin your long standing and trusted relationship. People get carried away, so make sure what you are doing and what effect it can have on you and your life.

Another situation can be; your one-night partner took you wrongly or maybe he/she is a crook and starts referring all his/her friends to you telling them that you are always ready for it. Or maybe, he/she starts black mailing you, generally for money or for any other favours. Yes it is a very rare scenario but it cannot be ruled out.

Great expectations: What if your partner or even you get emotionally attached to the other one. Although in one-night stand you hardly time for emotional attachment but everyone is not same. This may become a tricky situation, your one-night partner will start expecting more from you and may even start disturbing you personal life.

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